The Best

While watching Amelia eat her applesauce snack at the table in her blue polka-dotted dress...
Me: Amelia....Amelia....
(she looks up)
Me: I love you!
(she smiles)
Amelia: yea...to the WORWLD!

Just some thoughts on toddler hood...

The blog is changing. I just looked back at some earlier posts and realized I have become less insightful about parenthood and have focused more on reporting things that are new, funny and cute and, well, factual.
Does this mean I've become a seasoned parent? And that I am no longer as enthralled with the newness of parenthood and all its wonder? Absolutely not. Just the opposite in fact. But I do think I have become a bit more confused...

I have been thinking a lot about this phase in our lives, the toddler phase. I have been thinking about how quickly the baby phase went by and how from now on I will be spending the rest of my parenting career actually communicating, I mean really engaging in conversation, with this little person. She can talk back now. And talk back she does. With every day I wonder if I am responding the right way, teaching the right way, phrasing my comments correctly. If I'm being too lenient, too firm. If I am picking too many battles or letting too many things slide. Everyday is like a test that I didn't study for. I feel like I should have some notes to refer back to when a new situation arises. A study guide, a cheat sheet if you will. I mean sure, instinct seems to carry me pretty far, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I already had 3 or 4 toddler behavior books read and under my belt, and committed to memory. Don't get me wrong, Amelia is really truly a great kid. She's not even that challenging of a toddler. We deal with some whining and the occasional defiant "NO!" or "don't" or even when I lead her gently or pick her up and away from something of interest she pulls out the "don't pull me, Mom!" Oy.

Will she be fighting me from here on out? Calling me out when she feels wronged. Standing up for herself and putting into practice her words of power...like "NO," and "DON'T" and maybe eventually "I don't care what you think" or even an "I hate you?" Really? Does toddler hood really give us a glimpse into the teenage years? So I've read. (Okay, so I've started to read a toddler behavior book).
Okay, that was a bit of a tangent and maybe a bit dramatic...I mean I'm talking about a two year old, but stay with me here...
They push and test and try to pull away from us as they become more and more independent and more drawn to the world outside these safe and familiar parental walls. Yet we press on in faith (and I do pray a lot) that we are raising decent, respectful, confident and loving human beings as we continue to guide and teach and respond in the right way, at least we hope. All the while we achingly long to keep them close...and we secretly live for the moments when they succumb to needing us, wanting us and openly loving us more than anything. "Hold me, mom." "I snuggle you." "I want you."

I heard on NPR tonight while driving in the car, an author talk about the theory that she keeps in mind while writing her books. That God is depicted in the Bible as being like a parent who guides and teaches and remains very involved in the beginning but by the end of the story He has stepped back, has become more silent and ultimately lets his children live out their lives, with the hope that what He has taught them will resonate in their minds and hearts and continue to guide them, even when He is no longer talking.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Amelia-isms

An update on Uncle Ed. His surgery was very successful! Praise God! The surgeons were able to remove the whole mass, which is so amazing. We are all so grateful and relieved. He has spent some time recovering in the hospital and was able to return home yesterday only to run into some other post-surgery complications. He was airlifted back to Detroit where he is resting comfortably but will need to remain there for some time to undergo more tests. Please continue to pray for him...for good test results and ultimately for the best possible scenario...healing. And please continue to pray for his family...for peace, comfort and strength.

Some Amelia-isms...
We took Amelia to Mackinac Island this past weekend. We were able to visit our friends there, whom we have missed so much, and at the same time we were able to have a bit of a family getaway. Probably our last vacation for some time. We talked about it plenty before our arrival, the boats, the horses, the bikes. When we got off the boat, she just took it all in and seemed to love the whole experience, well...with the exception of the ferry...she wasn't so sure about that. On the last night, as she lay between us tossing and turning...she was having trouble falling asleep...my back to her, she finally became still and I thought for sure she had drifted. Then suddenly, I felt her hands on my back and felt her breath on my ear...it was then she whispered loudly...
"MOM! WHERE MY CAR???"
Smiling I said, "your car?"
"WHERE MY CAR GO? I SEE IT."
I explained to her that her car was in a parking lot and we were going to take a boat in the morning to get to it and then drive back to Grandpa and Grandma's house. She was content with this and laid back down. Later Ford and I laughed about the fact that she must have been lying there thinking 'well, this must be it...horses and bikes from now on...no more cars...I wonder if I'll ever see it again.' Ha.

Yesterday, as Ford sat down at the table to share a snack with her, he suggested they say a quick prayer. She agreed, put down her snack and folded her hands. He said the quick standard prayer but was surprised to hear Amelia chime in. He looked up to see her with hands folded and eyes closed...
"Um...Bess you Lord...annnnd Jesus loves me." :)

Today Ford took her to the pool after he got home from work and on the walk back he asked her, "Amelia, should we take the sidewalk home?" She exclaimed with glee..."YEAH!!" A few seconds later she ran up to him with her hand extended...
"Herego, Dad, herego."
He responded, "What's this?"
She said happily, "A piece!"
"A piece of what?" he asked.
"Sidewok. Take it home!"

Prayers for Uncle Ed

Prayer request today. Please add Uncle Ed, my Dad's older brother, to your prayer lists. He is undergoing surgery in Detroit to remove a brain tumor this morning. Pray for a successful and thorough surgery, a quick recovery, minimal pain and complete healing! Please pray for his family as well, for strength, comfort and peace to fill their hearts during this stressful time. Thank you!

An update.

Amelia napping in her "clickers."

We've been in Michigan for some time now, a month actually. We've been living with Grandpa Hank and Grandma Claudia...they were kind enough to take us in during this big transition...even during their own transition from the UP. Amelia has her own room, which has been really nice. I tried to bring as much from her room in Nashville to make her feel comfortable...I think it has worked with the exception of the first few nights when she awoke confused and crying in her familiar bed but in an unfamiliar setting. Overall, the transition has been smooth. The packing process and actually getting ourselves out of Nashville took so long, I think she too was actually ready to get on with things. So hard for a little one to understand. In fact, about mid-way through the packing, while living amongst boxes and in total disarray, Amelia was enjoying her breakfast at the table with my mom one morning when she showed her the cup of water she was drinking and said, "ice, Grandma?" My mom looked in the cup and said.."no, there's no ice in there," not realizing Amelia was actually asking for some ice. Amelia then peeked back in the cup, looked at my mom and said..."no ice, it's packed." And on another occasion while playing amongst boxes, boxes and more boxes while we busily worked around her...she exclaimed..."all done packing!"
How do you explain to a 2 year old that once we put everything we own and that is familiar to her in big brown boxes and then load them all into a "big trailer" that we will drive for 10 hours and 500 miles away from the only home she's ever known...not to mention never to return to again...and then we will live with Grandpa and Grandpa until we can find employment and a house of our own to live in where she will have a new room on a new street, and we will go to new parks and meet new friends to play with...but we will still talk to our old friends on the computer and over the phone and see them only "sometime soon...and..." As best you can, that's how.
What has helped is the fact that it's summer, and and she is having an awesome Michigan summer vacation, ie a trip the Petoskey and Lake MI for the 4th, G & G Turrell's cottage, visiting grandparents, aunts and uncles and playing with her many cousins, G & G Loto's POOL! She's having a great time. However, along with the move and her rapid approach to age 2, has come some new and undesirable behavior. Plenty of whining most days and the word "NO" in all it's glory, has a become the word of choice in her times of distress, confusion, anger, sadness, tiredness, and of course just plain defiance. There are some days that I wonder if I actually counted how many times that word left her lips, if the number would exceed 50...100? But no matter, it is a phase and the more she tests, the more I am reminded that her new 2 year old self is becoming more aware and independent and at times feeling less secure. So, boundaries, in what seems to be at times a boundary less new world, are what keeps it together. Knowing what to expect from us, even when we don't know what to expect ourselves. Tough some days. But what's not tough...hugs, kisses, snuggles and lots of I love yous...even if our normal routine is all messed up and even when we don't know what is to come.
And what is to come? Well, after much anxiety and nervousness about moving to Michigan during such economic turmoil...this just in...Ford was hired to teach at Lansing Community College this fall (thank the good LORD!) and he is also interning for Senator Clark a few hours a week where he has been put in charge of some big projects and thus gaining invaluable experience and networking opportunities. He starts law school at MSU at the end of August. We have started looking at houses...houses to buy. A first for us. And that is where we are now. Faithful and hopeful for good things to come. Once again, the Lord has blessed us, life is good and we are together.

Roll with it...

How will she react to leaving Nashville? Her house and yard? Her room? Her friends? I try not to think about it because it really does make me sad. Sad mostly to leave the place where she entered this world. The place in which she is the most familiar. There's something big about that...even if she doesn't remember. Today she understands the concept of "home" in the tangible sense anyway. When we've been out a while, and especially when she's tired, she'll pleadingly say..."home." And lately when she walks in the front door, she shouts gleefully "HOME!" She even knows which street is ours and loves to exclaim, "OUR STEET! OUR STEET! when we make the turn onto Beechwood. But no matter where we are in the future, she'll forever be able to say, I was born in Nashville, TN.

So we are leaving for the North in 11 or so days. We have begun the arduous task of packing. Slowly. I did, however, pack up all of the framed photos around the house. That really made the place feel a bit empty. Those pics, along with phone calls, Skyping, conversations and night time prayers are what keep her in touch with our far away family and friends. The frames that sat up on a ledge behind the couch were amongst her favorites to look at. She would stand up and peek her little nugget over the couch cushions, touch them all of course, and talk about all of the faces displayed there.
And then one day, when she woke up from her nap...those familiar faces simply were not there.

"Mommy, pitures?" with palms turned up and eyebrows raised.
"I packed them, in a box, so we can take them with us. Remember? Where are we going?"
"Mitchigun!"
"Yes, that's right! Who lives in Michigan?"
"Grampa....Gramma..." she begins to make a list...
"That's right, and who else?"
"Mommmmy..." she says.
"and Christopher" I add.
"and Mommmy..."
"and Sofia," I continue.
"and Mommy...."
Ford pipes in..."I think she wants to make sure you'll be there too."
"Yes, Mommy will be there and Daddy too..."

So, she's aware, as aware as her almost 2 year old mind can be, that something is up. And all I can do is make it fun, include her in the packing, and pray that she transitions smoothly. But what I think it comes down to for her is the reassurance that we will still be together, that no matter where we are; no matter what state, what house, what bedroom...all that matters is that we are here for her, and that we love her...when she has questions, when she's sad and when she just doesn't understand.
Then again, she could have a total party through this all and I could just be projecting my sentimental sappiness on her...via this blog only, of course.
Either way, here's hoping she can just roll with it, with lots of love and reassurance and of course with a little piece of these first few years of her life, this house, our friends, and Music City always stashed away somewhere in her subconscious...onward and Northward.