Thursday, June 11, 2009

Roll with it...


How will she react to leaving Nashville? Her house and yard? Her room? Her friends? I try not to think about it because it really does make me sad. Sad mostly to leave the place where she entered this world. The place in which she is the most familiar. There's something big about that...even if she doesn't remember. Today she understands the concept of "home" in the tangible sense anyway. When we've been out a while, and especially when she's tired, she'll pleadingly say..."home." And lately when she walks in the front door, she shouts gleefully "HOME!" She even knows which street is ours and loves to exclaim, "OUR STEET! OUR STEET! when we make the turn onto Beechwood. But no matter where we are in the future, she'll forever be able to say, I was born in Nashville, TN.

So we are leaving for the North in 11 or so days. We have begun the arduous task of packing. Slowly. I did, however, pack up all of the framed photos around the house. That really made the place feel a bit empty. Those pics, along with phone calls, Skyping, conversations and night time prayers are what keep her in touch with our far away family and friends. The frames that sat up on a ledge behind the couch were amongst her favorites to look at. She would stand up and peek her little nugget over the couch cushions, touch them all of course, and talk about all of the faces displayed there.
And then one day, when she woke up from her nap...those familiar faces simply were not there.

"Mommy, pitures?" with palms turned up and eyebrows raised.
"I packed them, in a box, so we can take them with us. Remember? Where are we going?"
"Mitchigun!"
"Yes, that's right! Who lives in Michigan?"
"Grampa....Gramma..." she begins to make a list...
"That's right, and who else?"
"Mommmmy..." she says.
"and Christopher" I add.
"and Mommmy..."
"and Sofia," I continue.
"and Mommy...."
Ford pipes in..."I think she wants to make sure you'll be there too."
"Yes, Mommy will be there and Daddy too..."

So, she's aware, as aware as her almost 2 year old mind can be, that something is up. And all I can do is make it fun, include her in the packing, and pray that she transitions smoothly. But what I think it comes down to for her is the reassurance that we will still be together, that no matter where we are; no matter what state, what house, what bedroom...all that matters is that we are here for her, and that we love her...when she has questions, when she's sad and when she just doesn't understand.
Then again, she could have a total party through this all and I could just be projecting my sentimental sappiness on her...via this blog only, of course.
Either way, here's hoping she can just roll with it, with lots of love and reassurance and of course with a little piece of these first few years of her life, this house, our friends, and Music City always stashed away somewhere in her subconscious...onward and Northward.